Radio Bile: “The EMAs should have gone bigger. Better. Bummier.”

The most disturbing logo you're likely to see this year. Until one with my face appears, at least.

Another week, another Radio Bile. This time music awards shows are in the crosshairs, as I lambast them for being boring and stupid. And suggest some ideas on how they could liven them up. You might not want to read this with anyone judgmental around.

So, apparently, the 16th MTV European Music Awards “went down” on Thursday. Did you notice? I didn’t – I was preoccupied with more relevant, pressing matters, like noticing that ooh, it’s getting quite cold this time of year, and hey, I need a shave. Of course, the fact that these two realisations came in quick succession meant that my addled brain became quite confused, and I ended up shaving my woolly fleece. Live and learn, I guess.

Anyway, at time of writing (3pm on Friday afternoon, thanks for asking), the biggest story to emerge from the EMAs is the complete lack of interesting stories. The biggest controversy was some nonsense about MTV building a “wall” in “Berlin” to cordon off some space for a U2 performance. Oh wow. I’ve had more interesting comas (NOTE: a lie). When – well, I suppose if – we get televised footage of Bono and Jay-Z goose-stepping back and forth across the wall, let me know, then I’ll summon up a grudging interest.

Now go leave a comment, my lovelies.

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