Radio Bile: “Music television has been dead for years. But can we please close the coffin now?”

The most disturbing logo you're likely to see this year. Until one with my face appears, at least.

My second Radio Bile column has gone up over at ZME. In it, I ponder the slow, agonising death of the phenomenon once referred to as music television. It starts with these words:

When did music television die, exactly? I’ll tell you when – it was when we all gave up on it, and with a collective mouseclick accepted Youtube and Myspace as our appointed saviours. But! There’s a more pressing question on my mind: is there a single post-Myspace moment where we can say music television went beyond an existence of pallid, pathetic obsolescence, and into fully-fledged, crap-slinging horribleness?

When I say “music television”, I don’t mean MTV, necessarily – that channel hasn’t been synonymous with the phrase it acronymed since the exact second they started showing the godawful, self-glorifying, materialistic nonsense that is “Cribs”, which at one point probably featured R Kelly saying “Oooh, look at me, I have 17 bathrooms, all of which I wholeheartedly ignore in favour of the underage groupie in my bedroom waiting for me to defecate on her. That’s where the magic happens.” Which of course, led to the coronary-inducingly painful sight of “My Super Sweet 16″, and other such abominations. MTV’s not dead, so much as it’s a reanimated, maggot-ridden corpse feasting on the palsied grey matter of any idiot willing to watch it.

And then it continues with some other words. It’s all very word-based, to be honest, but then, you’d expect that from a written column. Also, I promise I’ll actually write something specifically for Mister Hands soon. I really don’t want this to just become a links blog. Probably about the Broken Sword games.

But while I am linking, go check out my old Poplars-R-Us cohort David Kirk’s newly-wordpressed Webcomics Critique, and then progress to reading his wonderful Star Trax webcomic.


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