Take A Look in the Mirror

So Kelly Osbourne has checked into rehab, after being arrested earlier this week. She apparently assaulted the UK’s The Mirror’s gossip columnist, Zoe Griffin, last summer, and after an investigation, she’s been found guilty. Hence, she’s taken the usual C-List celebrity route of blaming it on the demons of stardom and drugs. But this isn’t about beating on Kelly Osbourne when she’s down, as tempting as that is. This is about Zoe Griffin.

I followed a few links from the news stories on Kelly Osbourne, and found Ms. Griffin’s story on the incident. It can be read: here. Now, understand that I in no way hold this blog up as any kind of paragon of journalistic standards, but honestly… even for the Mirror, this is a low-aiming piece of gussied-up, character-assassinating hypocrisy. Griffin seems to want to seem like the victim in the whole debacle, without realising that she both started the problem herself, and then looks like a very awful person by glibly trying to act like she’s above it all.

She rags on Osbourne for getting in her face and threatening her. Yes, it wasn’t exactly polite of Osbourne, but it’s not like Griffin hadn’t written a piece on her boyfriend, with all the stunning journalistic worth of calling a male model dumb. Kelly Osbourne isn’t exactly an inassailable target, but she wasn’t to blame for the animosity between the two. Griffin, on the other hand, has the chance to tell the story her way in this column, and even she can’t make herself sound likable.

Well sorry Kelly, I won’t be silenced by bullies. […] I watched her down a few glasses of champagne as she jumped around to cheesy ’80s classics like Belinda Carlisle’s hit Heaven is a Place on Earth. […] I could see the poor lass was getting her knickers in a right twist, so I said: “OK, look, I don’t want to fall out with you over this. If you want I could do something next week mentioning Luke’s achievements. Is he doing anything right now?’

Okay, so she paints Kelly Osbourne as a drunken bully. Never mind that Zoe called her boyfriend an idiot in a national newspaper – Kelly’s the obvious bully here. And the only person to ever drink alcohol in a nightclub. Then, the most blatantly dislikable and hypocritical part of the column:

Soon Kelly came rampaging back over with a female friend jabbing a finger in the air, telling me that I’d have to watch my back if I shared my story with readers of this column.

But I’m sorry Kelly, you’re all too happy to dish it out yourself.

On Natalie Imbruglia you said: “She’s just a b***h”. And Christina Aguilera: “Everyone I know hates Christina. She’s been horrible her whole life.”

Perhaps now they should give you a slap in the face…

I get it, Zoe: you’re a gossip columnist. Your livelihood depends on spreading salacious stories, rumours and outright lies about people who make more money than you. The faintest glimpse of the moral high ground is enough to send you into a delirious euphoria, and you scramble to cling to it with your sharpened fingernails, desperately trying to stay above the riff-raff you deign to grace with your precious column inches. So when Kelly Osbourne hits you, obviously you’re going to paint her as the bad guy in the tale, and you’re just the innocent, sweet angel who got caught up in the fray.

No: you make your living in one of the most disgusting fields of journalism ever to be invented. Your continued employment is based on the misfortunes and secrets of people whose lives are really none of your business. You make your living from pointing the finger at others from a high perch of self-righteousness.

It may be the high ground, but there’s nothing moral about it.


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